Fold piece of 8 1/2 X 11 paper in half, then half again. Fold down all four corners to make a sort of diamond shape. Now fold diagonally across middle. Fold corners again, but this time backward. Fold diagonally the other way. Do it again. Figure out the next step yourself, I can't tell you everything. Screw it. This isn't working. Throw away and start over.
Take sheet of paper. Crumple it in fist. Voila! A basketball.
Now to make a beautiful exotic origami bird.
Repeat steps for basketball above. Add feet, feathers, and a beak.
A dinosaur.
Make another basketball, but this time instead of bird-stuff, add dinosaur stuff.
Perfect.
Now for a Martini.
Three parts gin, one part vermouth, chill and serve with stuffed olives.
There's only so much paper-folding I can stand.
