Monday, October 14, 2013

Loaves and Fishes

The Gospel According to Matthew

And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals. But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat. And they said unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes. 

The Gospel According to Ayn Rand

And therefore was this an opportunity to set up an industrial bakery and a full-scale fish-processing plant.  And lo, they provided employment for many in the area, and also, thanks to economies of scale, were able to provide ample loaves and fishes at reasonable prices, so even the poorest - provided they were willing to work - could afford it.  And the investors likewise made a bundle, and the economy boomed, and it was a win-win.

The Gospel According to Barack Obama

For the wealthiest ten percent own almost half the loaves and fishes and many own either a loaf or a fish, but not both.  Therefore, everyone will contribute some of their loaves and fishes, and the very wealthiest shall contribute the most, for this is only just, to see to it that in this country no one is without a loaf or fish.  And among the young, they may be covered by their parents' loaf and fish plan, but all must contribute, even someone who says he really doesn't like fish or isn't hungry because you know sooner or later he's going to need some fish, and it's cheaper in the long run to take care of it now instead of waiting to go to the Emergency Room for acute fish deprivation.