Monday, March 03, 2014

The Day Ahead

All day people will be asking me about the Oscars.  "Did you see the Oscars?  OMG!  Snooky the Pig won for best performance by a trained animal?!  What were they thinking????"

I shall be mum.  The Oscars for me are like the Superbowl, only with actors.  I don't watch either one of them, so the next day I'm subjected to a gauntlet of people who have.

I have no idea who won anything at the Oscars because I did not watch the Oscars.  I went to sleep instead.  I did not watch the Oscars because I haven't seen any of the movies this year.  Even years I do watch the movies, I don't watch the Oscars.  The movies that should win never do.  For example Machete and Machete Kills.  Two fine movies, but did they win an Oscar?  Even one?  No.

Or Planet Terror, which has, in my humble opinion, the best scene ever filmed of a helicopter decapitating an army of zombies.  Did it even get a mention at the Oscars?   No, it did not.

When excellent cinema such as this begins to get the recognition it deserves, I shall watch the Oscars.  Not before.