K, k: From the Canaanite, kaph “hand,” the original Egyptian hieroglyph having already lost several of its fingers. Since the Canaanite yodh, (I), from which we get I, also means hand, and since J is derived from I, K makes three hands in a row, lined up between the fence of het and the ox-goad of lamed.
kiss: Defined by Freud, with characteristic Viennese suavity, as “the sexual use of the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth.” Directly traceable to the Old Norse, koss, but unmistakably similar to the Proto-Indo-European kus. Ernest Crawley (The Mystic Rose, 1902) claims erotic kissing was unknown in ancient Egypt, a notion easily disproved by an Egyptian tomb inscription by an anonymous poet 2000 years before Christ: “I kissed her open mouth and it made me drunker than wine.” A similar sentiment is expressed in the Song of Solomon, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for thy love is better than wine.” The comparison to intoxication is apropos; studies show dopamine levels during kissing rival those caused by cocaine.
Coming November 31st, the RETURN OF THE STOOPID CONTEST
