I Heart Indies

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Reading From the Social Media Bible

And it came to pass in those days that many were on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and there was much rejoicing in the land, but the people were stiff-necked and fell away from what was seemly for they neglected to post videos of kittens in humiliating but comic predicaments that were pleasing to the sight, neither did they post those cartoons that look as if they were drawn in the eighteen-eighties and yet have wry and sardonic captions such as a person of the contemporary era would have said and not at all what you'd expect from someone in the eighteen-eighties.  Moreover, people would send requests to their three hundred closest Friends to play Wiggle-Worm Mania or Donut Scramble or whatever, which is pretty rude, because if I wanted to play any of those games, I probably already would be.

These things alone were grievous enough, but, lo! some among them continued to "Like" Duck Dynasty which might have been cool at one time, but now was definitely not okay if not an outright abomination and so a scourge was laid upon the internet so that the ads, which formerly only appeared in the margins of the Facebook page, now came right in the middle of it, so it looked for all the world like someone's status update and not what it was, which was an ad for hemorrhoid ointments or whatever, and many were the unwary who were duped thereby and inadvertently "Liked" one of these ads, and so the pestilence was spread, and the guilty ones were "un-Friended" and left forlorn.

Here endeth the lesson.

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