I Heart Indies

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Welcomez-vous au Chez Dirt

While there are many examples of humans eating dirt throughout history -- perhaps due to certain disorders or out of necessity -- dirt is not typically something that one finds at high-end restaurants. That is, until Ne Quittez Pas restaurant in Tokyo revealed its $110 menu with dirt as a featured ingredient... Various dirt courses... include potato starch and dirt soup, salad with dirt dressing, aspic with a layer of sediment, dirt risotto, and dirt ice cream and dirt gratin for dessert. - Huffington Post

"Bonjour, bonjour, madame et monsieur and welcome-ez vous to Chez Dirt.  Ees zees your first time dining weez us?  Oui?  In zat case, you weel want to know about our specials.  We have Shrimp and Grit, our take on ze classic southern entree: fresh Gulf shrimp, served with remoulade and finely-ground asphalt, flown in fresh each day from exotic DeTroit.  Also, in a Cajun theme, we have ze blackened trout.  Fresh trout, delicately pan-seared and covered with coal dust.  Zen, if seafood is not to your taste, you might enjoy ze crispy duck.  Ze chef takes a wild duck -never farm raised - outside to ze parking lot, and rolls it around until its coated with soil and cigarette butts, zen into ze oven she goes and served with chipotle vinaigrette.  With zis, I recommend our Pinot Noir Chateau Soil, a full-bodied red wine with a nice muddy finish.  Also, on ze lighter side, we have ze petite fours, delicate little sandwiches made with real sand.  For dessert, of course, you will want to save room for our famous mud pie, served with our special coffee, that was ground just zis morning.  But first, to start, can I start you with garlic humus?  Rich black compost straight from ze landfill, mixed with lemon and fresh garlic and served on triangles of toasted pita."

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