The Old Man and the Blog

The old man was bald and white and had
not written a blog in two weeks

He was an old man who sat in the living room in his boxers every morning, and he'd gone two weeks without writing a blog.  At night he slept beside his wife, but after he began snoring, she said he was kipinuruwek, which is the worst kind of snoring, and she kicked him out of bed, and made him sleep in the guest room.  This way at least they both got some sleep, for the old man was tired of his wife hitting him in the ribs.  It made the old man sad when his wife hit him in the ribs for snoring and he said he didn't snore all that loud and besides she sometimes snored, too.  

The old man was bald and white and his bellybutton sometimes collected lint, for it was an innie.  Yellow blotches were on his boxer shorts, but not what you think, for he had made himself fried eggs that morning.  There were brown and yellow blotches on his tee-shirt as well, for he was also drinking coffee.  Some of the blotches were fresher than others.  His brown and yellow blotched tee-shirt did not cover his lint-filled bellybutton, which was an innie.  Or did I tell you that part already?

Every part about him was bald except his legs which were hairy and the inside of his nose, which looked like twin caves with shrubbery growing in them.  Of his toes, the less said the better.

"Sugar-dumpling," his wife said to him, "put a coaster under your coffee, for you will leave a ring."

But the old man was thinking of something else.  He began to write a blog.  It was not a good blog.  It was not a bad blog either.  But it was a blog, and it had been two weeks since he had written one.

"For God's sake," his wife said, "are you going to sit there in your underwear all day?"