1. When I'm in a restaurant, I...A. Ask what the waiter recommends and submissively say, "Yes, I'll have that," even though the thought of eating goat cheese nauseates me.
B. Randomly pick a spot on the menu with my eyes closed and eat whatever it says.
C. Order an omelet with fresh peas even though nothing like that's on the menu and throw a tantrum until they agree to make it for me, then leave it half-finished.
2. I like my coffee...
A. With hazelnut, whipped cream, sugar, and caramel. On second thought, hold the coffee, I've just have hazelnut, whipped cream, sugar, and caramel.
B. African American, with sugar.
C. But my coffee doesn't like me.
3. I spend my leisure time...
A. In the garden
B. In the pokey.
C. Weeping.
4. My childhood nickname was...
A. Skippy
B. Skuffy
C. Skimpy
D. Skunky
E. Spunky
F. Funky
G. Junkie
H. Hunkie
I. Lunky
J. Loser
K. Master Emmet J Farnsworth, III, Esquire
5. A rabbi, an Irishman, and a lawyer walk into a bar...
A. Ouch
6. Women find me...
A. Beneath contempt
B. Irresistible
C. If they look in their closet
7. My dreams are filled with...
A. Unicorns!
B. Nameless dread
C. Nameless unicorns
D. Dreadful unicorns
ANSWER: YOU ARE 1!
