Things I've Learned Since Turning 54

For Example, I've Learned 54-Year-Olds are Much
Better Looking than I Thought

I've learned a lot now that I'm 54.  For example, I've learned 54-year-old people are fascinating.  No, really, I used to think anyone older than thirty probably didn't have much of interest to say to anyone, but it turns out the opposite is true.  Get a bunch of 54-year-olds together and listen to them talk about gum disease or the benefits of Simvastin versus Lipitor.  Drop by sometime, and we'll talk about retirement.  You'll be hanging on every word!

And we're better looking than I thought, too.  I used to think liver spots, baldness, and that saggy skin around the jaw was repulsive, but now I see it's distinguished.

And I used to think the music they listened to was so lame.  But now I see it differently.  Let's face it, Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters can flat sing!  "Don't Fence Me In" and "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree (With Anyone Else but Me)" those are toe-tapping, hip-hopping tunes.  I just can't get enough of them.  I'm putting them on my iPod as soon as my daughter shows me how.

What a bunch of fuddy-duddies I thought those old farts were.  Now, though, I'm on the other side of the coin.  "Whew, it's almost eight-forty-five," I say.  "That's enough party for me.  Time to hit the ol' hay."

It took me this long to figure out how to get the most out of life. How to go for the gusto.  Lately, I've been looking into the "Early Bird Special" at Denny's.  By the way, does anyone know where I can get a complete DVD set of Matlock?