I suffer from a strange condition I hate to bring up in public: I am too good. I don't like saying it because it makes people feel sorry for me, which is just another manifestation of my kindness that I have way too much of.
My friends try to make me feel better about this. "You're not all that good," they say. My wife playfully adds, "Actually, I'd be more likely to call you selfish."
I know they're trying to reassure me, and I appreciate it because that's the way I am. I can't help being such a good person, and I take no particular credit for it. You see, added to all my other good qualities is my towering humility.
For example, when I see on Facebook someone's donated to the relief effort, I click "like" every time. Every time. Think of all the "likes" people would get if everyone were as considerate as I. When Nancy told me she'd donated to the relief effort in the Philippines, I told her that was nice. That's the kind of guy I am.
And when I leave a store, I always tell the cashier, "Have a nice day." Sometimes I just say, "Have a good one." Keep in mind, I'm not doing this for some life-long friend, but a complete stranger. How good can one guy get?
By this time you're thinking, Man, you need to dial it back a bit. You can't go on giving, giving, giving this way, you need to take care of yourself as well. I know, but I just can't help it.
I'm too good.