My Sports Pictures

I ran a triathlon last August.

I will wait for the guffaws of disbelief to die down.

As I said, I ran a triathlon in August, and every morning, I see my race number sitting on the dresser top.  On the bottom of the number is a website I can visit in case I want to order pictures.  So far, I haven't had the nerve.

Let me explain.

Every picture anyone's ever taken of me running a race turns out exactly the same.  There I am, in my glory, wind in my hair face, looking pumped, fit, and buff, but then, crossing the tape in front of me - every time - is a little girl.  This is not meant to be sexist or ageist or anything else, but it wounds the pride of a full-grown man when at his moment of triumph, he is clearly being outrun by a twelve-year-old.  And, okay, it also stings that she happens to be a girl.

I do not know why I have been singled out for this indignity, or how the race officials contrive to make this happen.  Approaching the finish line, I have scan my surroundings, assuring myself they are free of little girls, but then when I get the picture, there she is again.  They are too careful to use the same little girl every time.  Perhaps it's being done by the photographer himself in post-production; he photo-shops the girl in before posting the picture on the web.

Meanwhile, somewhere in cyberspace, my pictures are waiting for me to check them out.  Let them wait.