Charity and Other Get-Rich Quick Schemes

So I've been reading about this Kickstarting thing, and it sounds really cool.  Kind of like Craig's List, except people just send you money.  Kind of like my mother used to do for me, only now I got to send money to my kids, which isn't as much fun, I can tell you.

I've been trying to come up with a charitable or humanitarian idea that would benefit mankind or the environment but principally me, that I could put up on Kickstarter and get the ol' moneyball rolling.
I could raise money to hire somebody to bring me sandwiches, but that's not exactly charitable work, is it?  I mean, it's nice when someone brings you a sandwich, but it's not exactly charitable.  That's a shame, because I had a very detailed itemized list worked out for all the expenses for that one, right down to the cost of the mayonnaise.

Another idea I have is for "Chicken Rescue," which is kind of like canine rescue where you save some dog who's about to be put to sleep or something, only it's for chickens.  To be fair, neither of our chickens are in great need of rescuing, but that's the whole point.  This allows others to be in on the rescue post-facto.  And I'd have to check with the guy I bought them from, but I'm pretty sure their parents are dead, which makes them orphaned chickens on top of everything else, adding to the pathos. As part as my chicken rescue program, if a hawk ever went after one of my chickens, I'd try to fight the hawk off.  And if I got there too late - hawks are pretty damn fast - I'd rescue another chicken.
Another possibility is just conventional canine rescue, with our dog Zoe.  Zoe is very sad sometimes, and I'm sure it would cheer her up if she knew a bunch of total strangers were chipping in money for her upkeep.  I'm also almost certain she's an orphan too.  I can almost hear the PayPal account going ka-ching.

My real dream, though, is Jaguar Rescue.  Not the cat, the car.  I currently drive a Camry, which is what makes the subject of Jaguar Rescue so dear to my heart.  According to the internet, and if it's on the internet, it must be true, a Jaguar XF costs a mere $50 K.  I don't know what XF stands for but clearly it raises the value considerably; why would anyone want a mere Jaguar when you could have one with letters after it.  Especially the X.  Rrow.

So as you can see, I've got a zillion great ideas for charitable works to benefit that portion of mankind represented by me.  The hard part will be narrowing it down to one.  Maybe a Kickstarting campaign to help me select which Kickstarting campaign I'll do...