Now, there may be some people out there who won't buy my book How to Be a Good Person ($24.95) because frankly they don't care whether they're good people or not. I'm afraid they'll never be good people with that attitude, maybe they figure as long as they hang out with the "cool" crowd or they have a body-builder boyfriend or something it doesn't matter. As good people, we don't judge them; we simply hope that by setting a good example, we'll show them how wrong they've been.
HUMILITY: This is maybe the most important thing when it comes to being a good person, and I can tell you the secrets to humility in my book How to Be a Good Person ($24.95) because I am extremely humble, and I'm not just bragging because that would not be humble. I know I am humble because people have always told me so. They'd say, "You sure are humble. You're not all stuck on yourself like Jennifer and Brad. You deserve better."
GENEROSITY: Another important trait you'll learn about in How to Be a Good Person ($24.95). And you don't have to have a lot of money or a fancy sports car like Brad. Actually, having a lot of money can turn your head and make you forget what's really important and the good people in your life just because they don't have a sports car or they live with their mother or something. Real generosity is being generous with your time, with yourself. Some people just don't get that.
ADMITTING YOUR MISTAKES: Some people find this hard to do, but I'll show you how in How to Be a Good Person ($24.95). I admit mistakes all the time because, hey, I'm only human. For example, it was a mistake bringing up Jennifer that way. I realize now that was probably hurtful, Jennifer, and I'm truly sorry. But, Jennifer, if you're reading this, one mistake I'll never admit to was you and me. That wasn't a mistake. But I'm over it now and it's okay. Really. I hope you and Brad are happy.
PATIENCE: Act now, buy How to Be a Good Person ($24.95)!!! Ha-ha, just kidding. That was showing you how not to be patient. Actually patience is a very misunderstood virtue. Hoping someone will see what a mistake she's made and being willing to give her a second or even a forty-fifth chance isn't being passive aggressive or "stalking." Just because you call someone every day for a week and hang out near her apartment doesn't make you a "creep" no matter what some people say.
UNDERSTANDING: Understanding other people and what's really important isn't about how much they can bench press or whether they have a fancy car or have moved out of their mother's house. It's seeing what's inside that counts. I'm talking about the heart, Jennifer. The heart. Understand? Buy the book already. How to Be a Good Person ($24.95).
