I Heart Indies

Monday, August 10, 2015

Just Another Million-Dollar Idea

Readers of this blog are occasionally treated to sure-fire ideas to make a million dollars.  Who knows how many wealthy Americans owe their starts to this blog.  Donald Trump took my idea for surgically-implanted baseball caps on NASCAR fans and look how far it has taken him.

My next idea is for a new dog food.  According to the internet - and it must be true, it was on the internet - Americans spend twenty-one billion dollars on dog food last year.  That's billion with a "b" just in case you were thinking of spelling it with a "y" or a "q."  

Primarily this expense seems to be because dogs have joined the ranks of finicky eaters.  This seems incredible, but it is so.  When I was a child, I remember my neighbor Andy had a dog named Bo.  They fed Bo out of a big bag labeled "chow," and whenever they poured a bowl of it, he'd suck it down like he'd never seen food before.  For snacks, they'd pick off his ticks and feed them to him.  He drank out of the toilet.

Our dog Zoe must eat two different kinds of food each meal - wet and dry.  She needs flavor variety or she'll stop eating.  Her food must be purchased at a special store that specializes in the sort of dog food she eats.  Every so often, whatever we feed her, and however much it costs, she will get tired of it, and we'll have to search for a new brand.  I have calculated that out of the twenty-one billion dollars Americans spend on dog food, the Martin household personally accounts for eleven billion.

So here's my idea.

Recently we got a cat.  Now we have to keep the dog out of the sun-room because that's where the litter-box is.  If you have a dog and a cat, and if the cat uses a litter box, you will understand why this is a problem.

To get an idea of how popular cat-litter is with dogs, I did a quick search on Amazon where I found no fewer than sixteen different treatments you can buy to prevent dogs from eating cat poop.  

But here's my thought.

Cat-Poop flavored dog food.

Yes, laugh if you want to, but they laughed at the Wright Brothers when they invented the light bulb, too.  They didn't laugh when George Foreman invented the George Foreman Grill because, hey, George Foreman.  But they would've laughed.  But later on, they wouldn't have been laughing when it made a million dollars.  Same way with this.  Don't come crying to me when you miss your opportunity.

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