I Heart Indies

Friday, June 12, 2015

Presidential Losers #27: Alton Parker

In 1904 Teddy Roosevelt had already been president for three years because anarchist Leon Czolgosz had assassinated MccKinley.

Czolgosz’s master plan was to stand in a receiving line to shake hands with the president, and when he got to the front, shoot. 

Having no escape route, Czolgosz was immediately apprehended by witnesses, who beat him so badly, it was feared he would not live to stand trial. 1 

Anyway.  The election was a foregone conclusion.  There was very little difference on the issues, so the campaign was all about charisma.  After an initial speech, which was deemed a "fiasco," Alton cunningly decided to keep his trap shut.  He tried managing a "front porch campaign," similar to the one that had proved successful for McKinley.  Unfortunately, Alton's front porch was in Esopus, New York.  And if you don't know where Esopus is, neither did many other people, and the strategy was a bust.

Alton, whom everyone seemed to agree was a swell guy, is the only presidential loser never to have a biography written about him, whereas Teddy Roosevelt was Teddy Roosevelt.

The southern states went to Alton but the White House went to Teddy.


Teddy Roosevelt: 336
Alton Parker: 140

1. That's the problem with anarchists: no organization.

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