| Just look at that goofy smile on her face. She's probably thinking about Ebola. |
I'm sure I'm not alone in hating midterm elections, but unless you live in Georgia, you can't imagine how awful we have it here.
For example, we have two governors. That's right, I don't know how it happened, but we have two governors. One of them seems like a pretty good guy. Whenever you see him on TV, he's got an open shirt collar, and he's usually talking to plain ordinary folks, you can tell are hard-working and honest, just like him. He brought a lot of jobs to Georgia and saved the Hope Scholarship, thank goodness, because when you get right down to it, kids are Georgia's future.
The other governor looks a little like him, but he's a terrible person. He spent his whole term keeping jobs out of Georgia and trying to destroy the Hope Scholarship. That's right. Hard to believe anybody would be that cold-hearted, but it's true. I can't even think why someone would do something like that, unless he secretly hates Georgia. Maybe after the election we'll find out he was actually from Alabama the whole time. You never see him with any actual children, but sometimes they show children in the background. You can tell by looking at them, they are not getting good educations. They just look stupid. Stupid and unhappy. I suppose his plan is that when they grow up, they'll be so stupid they'll actually vote for people like him.
The two-governor confusion would be bad enough, but - get this - we have two women running for congress, and they both have the same name. Incredible, huh? I mean, like, what are the odds? One of them seems pretty sensible and competent, but the other one - oh, my gosh - she's a crazy woman. For one thing, she supports Obama. Okay, you're thinking, so what? But it's not the Obama you're thinking of: it's a whole nother one. He looks a little like Obama, but whenever someone says his name, there's these discordant piano chords - plonk! plonk! - kind of like the CSI theme only different, ominous and alarming. So anyway, this candidate supports Obamacare. (Plonk-plonk!) In fact, she can't get enough of it. Obamacare is like ice cream to her. I sort of got the idea Obamacare had to do with healthcare, but judging by the piano-music this is a whole different kind of Obamacare. It must have to do with drowning kittens at the very least.
But there's more. Terrorism. Everyone's against terrorism, right? Well, she isn't. The TV says terrorism, and the piano goes plonk-plonk because even piano players don't like terrorism, but she just goes right on smiling that goofy smile. And then maybe she'll say something good about Obama because clearly he likes terrorism too, The only thing those two like better than terrorism is Obamacare. Unless it's Ebola.
I know you're thinking, "you've got to be kidding," but I'm not. These two are actually in favor of Ebola. As far as they're concerned, the more Ebola the better. The TV saves Ebola for last, and uses its loudest and most ominous piano-plonking, but she just goes right on smiling that goofy smile of hers.
It just makes my blood boil to think about it.
Anyway, I definitely won't be voting for her, you can be sure of that. I'll be voting for the other one who 's got the same name but at least seems like a decent human being. I just hope in the voting booth I can tell which is which.
