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Sunday, November 23, 2014

How Does God Feel About Getting Filthy Stinking Rich?

"Turns out, you can take it with you."
Frankly, He's completely cool with it.  Really.  He wants you to get as much money as you can, right?  I mean, why else would he put us here?

You look at the Big Guy Himself.  I'm talking about God here.  Numero Uno.  He owns the whole universe, right?  He made it, it's His.  Can't get much richer than that.  And he wants us to follow his example.  Starting to get the picture?

And look at the way he set the world up, the natural order.  Every animal out there is busting its hump as hard as it can to get as rich as possible.  Consider the lilies of the field. They're all photosynthesizing hand over fist.  When you're a lily, that's basically being rich.  Chlorophyll is like money to them.  Or you take the sparrows.  They're out there catching worms like gangbusters.  Cause for a sparrow, worms is money.  Of course, with a free enterprise system, like nature is, you got your winners and you got your losers.  Take dinosaurs.  They were top dog for the longest, but they got lazy.  Stopped innovating.  They forgot the lessons that got them on top in the first place.  So boom.  Bankruptcy, or as the dinosaurs called it, extinction.  With God, you're never too big to fail, so keep that in mind.

Everyone says but what about that line about the eye of the needle and the camel and all that.  Yeah, yeah, I know, but everyone forgets the second part of the verse, where Jesus says, in effect, "Sure, sure, it's hard getting a camel through the eye of a needle, but it's possible.  It's just gonna cost you." (Wink-wink.)

And people point at Jesus, and they're like, "Whoa, there, Jesus himself was kind of anti-money, wasn't he?"  Well, that's just plain not true.  It's a shame the way some people distort the Bible's message.  Like they take a few facts, like Jesus never got a MBA, and he never held down a paying job, and he lived with his mom - and they string a few things like that together and come up with the notion Jesus didn't care about money.  

But you got to look at the big picture.  Jesus, he's like the CEO, and he picks twelve folks to help run his company.  (Of course, one of them was Judas, but there's a loser in every batch.  Now, you take Peter.  There was a go-getter.)  And Jesus gets crucified, but on the third day he's promoted, and then his disciples are running the business.  And what a business.  You show me any company in the Fortune 500 that's raked in as much loot or lasted two thousand years like Jesus Christ, Inc!  And you know the best-selling book of all time?  That's right, the Bible.  You add it all up - publishing, radio, tv, movies, not to mention the whole tithing racket, and Christianity is the biggest money-maker of all time!  Not bad for an illiterate carpenter's son, huh?

So, does God want you to have money?  Hells yes.  God loves money.  For all I know, God is money.

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