I Heart Indies

Wednesday, November 5, 2014


As I write this, a Brookhaven police officer is in a patrol car outside.  A crime-scene investigator is on her way to dust a dropped GPS for fingerprints, and various other police are looking for an unidentified perp.  (As an official crime victim I get to use the word perp.  I don't think I can say "10-4" or "Roger that," unless I've been deputized.)

Artist's Recreation of the Morning's
Dramatic High-Speed Chase
This morning at 3:00 AM, Zoe woke us up barking.  There was a stranger in the living room, only at first I didn't think it was a stranger.  I thought it was my sister Chris who for some reason had arrived a day earlier than expected.  Quickly, I realized it was not my sister, and indeed was probably a perp.  I shouted "hey" and Zoe and I chased him out the door and down the street.  We chased him close to a quarter mile before he turned into someone's driveway at which point it was like, "The hell with it," and I came back.

Nancy read me the riot act for trying to run down an unknown perp who, after all, might've had a gun or a pointed stick or something, but at the time, you don't think clearly.  So we called 911, and the cops arrived.  In particular, I'd like to single out Officer Maria Gresham for tremendous professionalism, helpfulness, and courtesy.  I hope none of my readers ever have to report a break-in, but if you do, you would hope to get an officer just like her.  She was there almost before we hung up the phone and quickly got what scanty information I could provide.  She didn't make us feel like chumps for leaving a door unlocked or a car door unlocked, and although - as I said - I wasn't able to provide much information - I didn't see a face or even get a clear idea of what he was wearing - she was very skillful at eliciting what information she could.

You're probably on tenterhooks wondering what this criminal mastermind got away with - well, not much.  He took two GPSs from my car, but ended up dropping both of them.  One by my doorway and one in someone's backyard as he ran down the driveway.  My greatest fear, as I walked back to the house after chasing my perp, was that he'd gotten my laptop.  It's not a valuable instrument, and it's so covered with crud, a disease-conscious perp would be afraid to touch it, but it has the first 24 drafts of my current novel, and I was heartsick at the thought of having to start from scratch.  Luckily, as you can tell from the fact I'm writing this, he didn't get it, but he was just about to, because it was on the ottoman right where he was standing.

He did get some credit cards and my license, because like a chump, I'd left my wallet in my car, but other than that, he got nothing.

I didn't get a look at his face, but once when I was chasing him, he looked back to see if I was still there.  I was.  What I keep thinking about and what makes me grin, is what a weird morning the perp had.  He breaks into a house and the dog barks and the homeowner catches him - that's just part of the risk of doing business for him - but what he didn't expect was some lunatic would chase him barefoot wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxer briefs for a quarter mile down the road at 3:00 in the morning.

He'll think twice before he comes back to our house.


  1. Thank God no one was hurt! Please take this as a learning opportunity and link your documents to a cloud back up. If you don't know which one to use or are unsure about how to go about it please don't hesitate to call me

  2. I almost fainted. Back up your work! I have mine on my computer, I copy pages each time I work (because I'm old), I have my stuff on THREE thumbdrives, all in different places. I mean, what about fire? What about crashes? What about a stupid buglar? I almost fainted.