Friday, August 29, 2014

Yoda Explains How to Play Monopoly

A token each player must select, and on the Go Space, they must place it.  A Top Hat, a Race Car, a Battleship, or a Thimble a player can be.  Even a Cat a player can be.  A Flat-iron, a player may not be.  No more is the Flat-iron.  Miss it, do not.  Attachment leads to jealousy.  The shadow of greed, that is.

A Banker one player will be. Give  $1,500 to each player the banker will.  Collect $200 when you pass Go, you will.  If on an un-owned property a player lands, buy it, he may.  If on an owned property lands a player, rent the owner must demand, not collect rent he will if fails to do so he does.  (Jesus, hard it is, talking this way.)

If all properties of one color a player owns, houses he may build.  After a the fifth house, a hotel he may build.  Sucks this does for a player who not many properties has.  Especially if on Park Place and Boardwalk hotels there are.  Ha-ha, a loser you are.  Sometimes a relief it is the Dark Side of the Force to join and to jail to go, is it not?  At least rent in jail pay you do not.

When bankrupt a player goes, removed his piece is from the board.  A temper tantrum throw do not, but over it get.  Such a baby do not be.