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Saturday, August 30, 2014

Someone Help Me, Please

I must've overslept
I don't know what happened.

Last night I went to bed and everything seemed perfectly normal.  When I woke up, I was like this.

When I went to sleep last night, my daughters were little girls.  The younger one was just learning to ride a two-wheeler, and the older was mastering long division.  Now they are grown: one married, and one engaged.  Moreover, my face and body have transmorgified horrifically.  I went to bed as a twenty-seven or possibly thirty-three years-old.  Now, looking in the mirror, if I didn't know better, I'd swear I was fifty-five.

When I turned out the lights, Reagan or possibly Bush the Elder was president.  I was very optimistic about the future; we had won the Cold War, and there'd been a little fracas in the Middle East or Afghanistan somewhere, but we'd gone in and kicked tail, and we knew we wouldn't have anymore trouble of out them ever again.

When I went to sleep, the one thing you could count on was that real estate would go up in value.

When I went to sleep, I didn't have liver spots on my hands.

I woke up this morning, and all my favorite songs had moved from the Top 40 station to the Oldies radio station.

I went to sleep having spent hours transferring all my old LPs and cassette tapes to CDs.  Now I can't find my CDs.

When I went to sleep, my parents-in-law were in wonderful shape and doing fine and were generally fun to be around.  Now a caregiver goes to their house each day, but that is not enough, and Nancy and her sister must go down to help out, often for days and weeks at a time.  They are old and in chronic pain.  My father-in-law can barely stand straight and my mother-in-law has Alzheimer's.

I wonder what they were like before they went to sleep last night.  

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