Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Did Lower Testosterone Lead to Civilization?

Although humans have been around for 200,000 years, they didn't develop the makings of modern society -- culture, art and advanced tools -- until about 50,000 years ago...The journal Current Anthropology finds that human skulls changed shape at about that same point in time -- physical changes linked to declining testosterone levels. The researchers say that suggests lower levels of the male hormone could have helped bring about modern civilization. - CBS News

There was a time I would've just wanted to smash your head in, I mean it.  I'm sorry, but that's just the way it was.  Smashing heads in was like my favorite food or something.  Just about the only reason I'd even tolerate your company was if we were smashing in the head of something else together.  Like a mastodon.  It's a total rush smashing in a mastodon head.  Don't get me wrong, I still would love to smash me a mastodon head, and even looking at your head right now, there's a part of me that thinks, boy, it'd be fun to smash that in.  I can just hear that sound - kngorscch - kind of crunchy and goopy at the same time when you smash in a head, you know?


But, I don't know, I don't enjoy smashing in heads any less than I used to, but now there's these other things, too.  And it's so much better.  Like, my mate for example.  It used to be, I just wanted to mate with her, then as soon as I was done, I'd go off looking for heads to smash in.  It was like, I had to go off because if I stuck around, sooner or later, I'd notice she had a head, then, kngorscch.  But the other afternoon, after I finished mating, I hung around a little.  She asked me about my day and if I'd smashed any good heads lately, and it felt great.  Then she told me about her day, and I actually listened awhile before I realized if I stuck around any longer, I'd have to smash her head in.


Like you take that cave painting we did.  Do you think we could have done that if we'd been busy smashing heads in?  Definitely not.  I'd have been like, "Why'd you screw up that bison?  You gave it six legs!  A bison has at most three to five legs!"  And I'd have smashed your head in.  Now, you know what?  That screwed-up bison is my favorite part of the whole painting.  Seriously, dude.


Anyway, that was just something I wanted to get off my chest.  I think I'll pick up this big rock and get up and walk around a little bit.  No, don't get up.  Sit right where you are.  I'm just going to carry this big rock - boy, it's heavy, too, ha-ha - over here behind you.  La-de-da-tumty-tum-tum.  Just stay right where you are.  Right.  Where.  You.  Are.