Thursday, July 10, 2014

Six Ways to Keep a Man

Women are forever writing in asking about their men.  Do I need to put air holes in the box?  Do I need to catch bugs for him, or is it enough to throw a few scraps of lettuce on the bottom?

Many women want to know, how can you keep a man?  Still others ask why would you want to?  Such questions reveal many women don't know the first thing about men or what makes them tick.  Here, then, are six simple tips for hanging on to your guy.

Don't Be Too Picky: If you expect your man to do the laundry, clean house, or even bathe regularly, you're asking to be disappointed.  Lighten up a little and learn to accept piles of dirty underwear.  You'll both be happier, and the silverfish will have a warm place to sleep.

Praise Him: Be sure to tell him on a regular basis that he's handsome, smart, and talented.  It's amazing.  Guys fall for anything.

Do the Hibbiddy-Bibbidy: Regular sex equals a happy guy.  What have you got to lose.  We're talking three minutes here.

Make Him His Favorite Meal: In most cases this will be a slab of meat, either nearly raw or burnt to a crisp, depending on his preference.  A good pairing is beer.  

Laugh at His Jokes:  Why wouldn't you?  His jokes are hilarious.  What's the difference between a tavern and an elephant fart?  One's a barroom, and one's a ba-room!  Too funny!

Encourage Him to Let Himself Go: It's not a big deal if he looks at other women, so long as you ensure they don't look back.