Could Seth Rogen and James Franco trigger a conflict with North Korea? That's what Pyongyang says, calling the duo's upcoming film an "act of war." In "The Interview," starring Franco as a TV host and Rogen as his producer, the two are sent to North Korea to assassinate supreme leader Kim Jong Un. "The act of making and screening such a movie that portrays the attack on our top leadership... is a most wanton act of terror and act of war, and is absolutely intolerable," a foreign ministry spokesman said in a statement cited by AFP. He also threatened a "resolute and merciless response" if the film is not banned by the U.S. government. The statement was released via the official Korean Central News Agency, which last month called President Obama a "wicked black monkey." - Ed Mazza, The Huffington Post
Godfather III - After two great cinematic achievements, Director Copola, Screenwriter Mario Puzzo, and Star Al Pacino prove they are nothing better than wicked Italian lemurs who are well known for throwing feces at each other and for making inexcusably rotten movies like this one. Everyone involved in this stinker shall face a lingering death.
The Village - Frankly, I never really liked The Sixth Sense. Everyone was like, "Jong Un, Jong Un, you've got to go see The Sixth Sense," but even though giving "spoilers" to a movie I haven't seen yet means certain death, I foresaw the ending almost from the opening scene. I nearly started a nuclear war right then, but I watched the rest of the movie anyway and found it at least mildly entertaining. But The Village! What a stinker! M Night Shyamalan - here we call him M Night Shamalama-ding-dong, ha-ha - is surely a notorious Indian orangutan for perpetrating this idiocy on the innocent public. You don't know when, or where, Mr Shyamalan, but a massive can of whoop-ass retaliation is headed your way for this.
The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, The Clone Wars, and The Star Wars Holiday Special - George Lucas used to be an sinister but ground-breaking little chimp. Now he is just a sinister chimp who's become a billionaire pedaling this drek. Enough said. Your cities shall lie in ruins.