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Sunday, June 1, 2014

It Turns Out God Hates All the Same Stuff I Do

I've been thinking about it a long time, and I'm pretty sure God hates all the same people I do.

I have not reached this conclusion rashly but after careful thought, study, and prayer.  In fact, I might further say that God hates all the same stuff I do.

Take rutabagas.  There are some people who claim to like these.  I don't care for them myself, and I'm pretty sure God doesn't either.  Rutabagas are nasty-tasting.  This is undeniable.  For God to like them, He would have to like nasty-tasting things, which is more along Satan's line, right?  This goes double-plus for beets.  God clearly hates beets.  The definition of God is all-powerful and all-good.  There's no way someone who was all-good would like beets, and there's no way you could make Him eat them because he's all-powerful.

As far as the TV show, Parenthood, I've seen a few episodes, and it's safe to conclude God believes it's perfectly inane.  I would not say it was an actual sin to watch, but I'm pretty sure he's annoyed whenever it's on.  God much prefers Justified and is very pleased that Deadwood is streaming on Amazon because that's a really good show and it deserves a second viewing.  It's remarkable how much God dislikes Parenthood because in general, He's very broadminded when it comes to TV.  For example, and this might surprise some people, He thinks Archer is very funny.

When it comes to God's political opinions, I don't want to stir an anthill, here, but they have changed over the years.  At one time, I thought very differently than I do today and I think it's safe to say that God Himself concurred with me.  Now that I see things differently, it's clear to me that God thinks exactly the way I do, that is, the way I do now, not the way I did then.  God and I are on the same page and feel compassion for those who see things differently.  Compassion mixed with a certain righteous wrath.  

Yes, God is capable of wrath.  And people need to tread very lightly to avoid rousing it.

I've mentioned that God is annoyed by the TV show Parenthood, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.  God is annoyed by lots of things, and not just beets, either.  Like people who block intersections.  God hates that.  I'm pretty sure he's got a big can of Divine Wrath he's about to open up any day now just for people who block intersections.  Not that God is unreasonable, far from it.  For example, the other day the light changed on me, and I ended up blocking an intersection myself.  It was an innocent mistake, but I felt like the other drivers were judging me.  God knew it was just one of those things I couldn't help, and I couldn't blame him for feeling a little bit of wrath at the other drivers.  What God hates most is people who are judgmental.  I explained to God, that not being omniscient, the other drivers did not know it was an innocent mistake on my part and that I really couldn't help it.  I asked Him not to smite the other drivers for they knew not what they did. 

One of the things God loves is how forgiving I am.

1 comment:

  1. The good Lord saves a lot of wrath to smite those wretched sinners who get in the left lane, and don't pay attention so that they're ready to go when the turn light comes on.