Friday, June 06, 2014

Everything I Really Need to Know I Learned From Chickens

It's true, man, chickens are magnificent, proud beasts, and we can learn so much from them.

Never Lose Your Sense of Wonder: That's the thing about chickens, they never forget the miracle of just existing.  Chickens marvel at a beautiful sunrise, or maybe just a rock, some rotten cabbage, anything really.  Chickens are just in a constant state of wonder.  I love that about them.

Treat All People Equally:  You might be the richest person on earth or you might be a bum.  Maybe you're the pope or you're a meth addict.  To a chicken, it's all the same.  As far as she's concerned, you're just a great big bald funny-looking chicken with hands.  The world would be a better place if we could all see things that way.

Take Things One Day at a Time:  Dude, I really envy the way chickens do this.  Me, I take two, maybe three days, at a time.  It's crazy, but I can't stop myself.  Like just the other day, I took Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday all at the same time.  No wonder I'm always tired.  Not chickens, though.  Those glorious bastards.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: You ever seen a chicken sweat?  You know why not?  No sweat glands.  Case closed.  That's just genius.  You never see a chicken worry about retirement.  All they do is scratch, peck, and poop.  If you do what you love, every day is a vacation.

Lay an Egg Every Day: They make it look so simple.  They don't even know they've done it.  Later, they're like, "How'd this egg get here?"  They don't even know they're chickens.  If they could talk, they'd be like, "Am I a chicken?  I don't know, never thought about it.  I'm just taking it one day at a time.  You got any rotten cabbage?"  That's how they do it.  They don't think about stuff, they just are.  I tell myself, I can't lay eggs.  But the fact is, I just don't have the guts.  I don't have the integrity to lay eggs.  Chickens.  No self doubt.  No fear.  God, I love them.