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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Out-Takes of Transcendent Goodness

For in this wise, thou mayest collect time-and-a-half for overtime
Two Buddhist monks came upon a woman standing at a riverbank.  She explained she needed to get home, but couldn't because the bridge was out.  The elder monk knelt and signaled the younger to do likewise, and so letting the woman climb on their backs, they carried her across the river.  The monks went on their way, and after a while, the younger monk said, "You know we are forbidden to touch a woman, and yet you had us carry across the river.  Why?"  The elder answered with a question, "Did you get a load of the jugs on her?"

Jesus told the multitude, "If someone has thee go a mile with him, go two miles.  For in this wise thou mayest collect time-and-a-half for overtime, plus a mileage allowance of twenty-five cents, not to mention the depreciation on your sandals.  It all adds up."

"Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon," said Martin Luther King.  "It cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it.  It is a sword that heals.  And if it doesn't work, you can always kick their butts later."

A poor man was driven to steal silverware from a priest.  When apprehended by the police, he claimed the priest had given it to him.  The police took the culprit back to the priest and asked, "Did you give this man your valuable silverware?"  "Why, yes, I did," responded the priest without missing a beat.  "And in fact," the priest stepped into the house and returned a moment later with two valuable silver candlesticks, "I wanted him to have these as well."  He bonked the thief on the head with the candlesticks and knocked him down and said, "Now give me back my stuff then toss this crooked bastard in jail and throw away the key."

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