If Shakespeare's Plays were Written by MFA Students

The Montagues and Capulets Meet.
An Argument is Averted

Romeo and Juliet: Sampson and Gregory of the Capulets meet Abraham and Balthasar of Montagues in the streets of Verona,  An argument nearly breaks out, but Gregor thinks better of it, and an incident is avoided.  Romeo pines for Rosaline and has shut himself up in a dark room, writing gloomy poetry.  Mercutio suggests he go to the Capulet's party and meet some new women, but Romeo declines.  Romeo goes back to his room to write poetry.  The rest of the play is taken up with back-story on Juliet's childhood.

King Lear: King Lear wishes to retire, but can't bring himself to relinquish control of his kingdom.  The rest of the play is back-story on why Goneril and Regan resent Cordelia.

Macbeth: Macbeth meets three witches who prophesy he will be Thane of Cawdor and King of Scotland.  He shares this news with Lady Macbeth who urges him to take action to bring this to pass.  Both are at a loss, however, as to what action he should take.  The two of them make a tasty salad of cilantro and endive while they discuss options and the state of their marriage.

Hamlet: Hamlet meets his father's ghost, who orders Hamlet to seek revenge on Gertrude and Claudius for his murder.  Hamlet spends the rest of the play in a dither...  Come to think of it, this version would be the same as Shakespeare's.