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Friday, March 7, 2014

Traits of Creative People

Creative People Frequently Have Stains They Can Not Account For
My friend Krista Seckinger posted a Huffington Post article about traits of creative people, which seems to be accurate as far as it goes, but to my mind, leaves some things out.  Whatever else can be said about me, I think it must be admitted I am creative.  Even my High School algebra teacher admitted this.  "One thing I can say about your answers," she would write on my tests, "is they certainly are creative."  So what are the other traits of creative people?  Here, then, is my own list?

They Frequently Have Stains on their Shirts Which They Have No Idea Where They Came From.  Take for example, right now.  It's six-thirty and yet I already have a stain which appears to be barbecue sauce.  However it tastes like bearnaise.  Barbecue sauce is red, and bearnaise is pale amber.  I have had neither in at least a month.  Mysterious.

They Are Often Funny Without Intending to Be.  This happens to me all the time.  Everyone will crack up after I say something perfectly serious.

They Really Love Skittles Candy.  I don't know if this is true of all creative people or just me.  But seriously, have you tried Skittles?  They're delicious.

They Look a Whole Lot Better Standing in Front of the Mirror Than They Do in Photographs.  Look at a picture of the slouching, pot-bellied middle aged man that I appear to be, then come to my house and stand beside me while I'm in front of a mirror.  My posture is better, my stomach is flat, and I could swear, I even have more hair.  I can't explain how this is possible, but it's true.

They Form This Weird Gunk in the Corners of Their Mouths When They Sleep.  I don't know if this has anything to do with creativity, but it's something I've noticed.

Their Spouses Tell Lies About Them.  I regret to say this, but it cannot be denied.  For example, Nancy, whom I love dearly in spite of all her faults, has the persistent delusion that I snore.  All my arguments to the contrary have failed to persuade her.

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