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Monday, January 13, 2014

The Wise Man Speaks

I Thought He was a Street Person Going for a
Shower-Curtain Look
So what's the deal with all this wisdom, and how come I got so much of it?  That's what you want to know, isn't it?  I'm just dripping with wisdom, I'm swimming in it.  I got wisdom coming out of every orifice and when I take out the trash, I got to be sure to throw out some extra wisdom just to keep it from piling up around the joint.  People going through my trash all the time, just hoping to pick up some wisdom, and who can blame them?  You know who I saw digging through my garbage the other day?  The Dalai Lama.  That's right.

I thought he was just a regular street person, going for kind of a shower-curtain look, but no, it's the Dalai Lama.  And I says, "Dalai, what gives?"  And he's all like, "You got so much wisdom, I just hate to see it go to waste."  So I says, "Knock yourself out, Dalai."  Just because you're wise, doesn't mean you can't afford to be generous.

So I'm betting you'd like me to lay some of my wisdom on you.  Here goes.

Early to bed, and early to rise.  That's right, that's one of Franklin's, but it's still just as true as ever.

If you don't control your temper, then it controls you.  That's one of my personal faves.  You know what they call an angry fool?  A fool!  Get it?  That one just cracks me up.

Everyone thinks he's a nice guy even if he's a straight-up butt-hole.  That's a hard one to wrap your head around.  You meet a grade-A blue-ribbon butt-hole, like a complete jerk, and he thinks he's Mr. Nice.  Doesn't keep him from being a butt-hole, though.

Don't go blowing a bunch of money on crap.  You know what they call expensive high-grade imported-from-Europe latest-thing crap?  That's right, crap.  Pretty much the same line as the one about the fool, but you get the idea.

Well, that's about it.  Fact is, after 2,000 years there's only so much wisdom out there.  I was just kidding about throwing out the extra in the trash.  I wasn't kidding about the Dalai Lama, though.

Poor sap.

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