|I Thought He was a Street Person Going for a|
I thought he was just a regular street person, going for kind of a shower-curtain look, but no, it's the Dalai Lama. And I says, "Dalai, what gives?" And he's all like, "You got so much wisdom, I just hate to see it go to waste." So I says, "Knock yourself out, Dalai." Just because you're wise, doesn't mean you can't afford to be generous.
So I'm betting you'd like me to lay some of my wisdom on you. Here goes.
Early to bed, and early to rise. That's right, that's one of Franklin's, but it's still just as true as ever.
If you don't control your temper, then it controls you. That's one of my personal faves. You know what they call an angry fool? A fool! Get it? That one just cracks me up.
Everyone thinks he's a nice guy even if he's a straight-up butt-hole. That's a hard one to wrap your head around. You meet a grade-A blue-ribbon butt-hole, like a complete jerk, and he thinks he's Mr. Nice. Doesn't keep him from being a butt-hole, though.
Don't go blowing a bunch of money on crap. You know what they call expensive high-grade imported-from-Europe latest-thing crap? That's right, crap. Pretty much the same line as the one about the fool, but you get the idea.
Well, that's about it. Fact is, after 2,000 years there's only so much wisdom out there. I was just kidding about throwing out the extra in the trash. I wasn't kidding about the Dalai Lama, though.