I Heart Indies

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Jokes That Aren't

"So the farmer kills him."
So a kangaroo comes into a bar and orders a gin.  The bartender charges him fifty dollars, and says "We don't get many kangaroos in here."  The kangaroo says, "God, oh, God, I can't help it.  I'm an alcoholic, and I can't stop myself."

There's a Catholic priest, a Rabbi, a Baptist minister, and a lawyer in an airplane.  The captain comes over the intercom and says, "We're having engine trouble, and we're going down."  The plane crashes and everyone dies.

A traveling salesman asks if he can spend the night at this farmer's house, and the farmer says okay.  But the thing is, the farmer has this incredibly sexy daughter, and she and the salesman make love that night.  The next morning, the farmer finds out about it, and kills the salesman.  The body is never found.

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with a penguin on his head.  The psychiatrist says, "What can I do for you?"  The man says, "My wife died recently, and I've been incredibly depressed with thoughts of suicide."

Pete and Repete are in a boat.  Pete falls out, and even though it was only an accident, Repete can't get the district attorney to believe him.  He ends up serving seven years for negligent homicide.  His bunk-mate was a white racist named Earl.

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