Friday, December 27, 2013

My Philosophy

Sure, bad things have happened to me from time to time, and, sure, I've made some bad decisions.  I've done some things that I'm not proud of.  But you know what?  I don't regret any of it, not a thing.  Because the things that I've done, the things that have happened to me - good as well as bad - have made me who I am.

For example, that time I went surfing.  Boy, did I make a fool of myself!  My wife has a video of me doing a complete somersault and bonking my head on the board.  That was just before the Great White came up and bit off my leg.  Ouchers!  Of course, looking back on it, I shouldn't have gone surfing in shark-infested waters, and the chum-scented sunscreen was probably a bad idea, but still, that accident is part of who I am.

Or when I went scaling that crevasse by myself (big mistake!) and got my arm pinioned in between those two rocks, I figured it was about the worst thing that could happen to me.  I didn't have any bars on my cellphone (natch) so I just waited around about an hour before the solution hit me.  Saw your hand off!  Like Nietzsche said, "Anything that doesn't kill you, makes you a lefty."  Anyway, that accident is part of who I am now, and I wouldn't take it back.

Or when that mad scientist put the brain of his golden doodle inside my skull.  Frankly, I can't remember how he talked me into that one.  I was drinking tea with him inside his enormous castle, and next thing I know, I'm coming to on an operating table, and he's asking how I feel and waving a dog biscuit in front of my face.

When people say to me, "How did you get to be this way?" or "Stop sniffing my crotch!" I tell them, it's who I am.  All those experiences are the rich tapestry that have woven the unique individual who is me.