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Monday, December 9, 2013

Life Has a Way of Working Out

Life has a way of working out.  Don't believe me?  Well, for example there's an old lady, and she's really, really poor.  She doesn't have enough to pay for medicine or insurance or anything.  She's wondering how she's going to be able to buy groceries.  And then... just when she least expects it... there's a cold snap and she freezes to death in her apartment because she didn't pay the heat bill.  See what I mean about life working out?  She didn't need to worry about groceries after all.

Or there's someone who desperately wants children.  She's tried everything, and she just can't get pregnant: doctors, medications, surgery.  She's even tried sex.  She still can't get pregnant.  She prays to God, "Please, Lord, send me a baby."  And sure enough, the next day in the park - she sees a baby!  It's in its own little carriage and everything!  So she takes it home fast before anybody can see, and she showers that baby with love and attention right up until the cops come.

Still don't believe life has a way of working out?  Take the case of someone who's really bad.  Like a mob boss or something.  He says to the mob, "Do this," and the mob has to do it, or "Do that," and the mob has to do it, because he's the boss.  Anyway, he's really, really evil.  He sells crack to kindergartners, he deals in kitty porn (like kiddie porn, only with kittens.)  He buys a McDonalds, just so he can pay people minimum wage.  You get the idea.  E. V. I. L.  He lives in luxury in a big house, with a series of trophy wives, and a bunch of yes men around who will do whatever he wants.  He has a Play Station 3.  But guess what?  When he's 95, he gets cancer and it hurts like a bitch, I mean awful.  They have to give him morphine to manage the pain.  And then he dies.  So there.

Life works out.

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