Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Claymore Community College Course Catalog

"Preparing today's students with skills they can use."

CONVINCING LYING: Basic lying skills with an emphasis on maintaining eye-contact, sounding sincere, and generally making preposterous falsehoods sound plausible.

WRITING RESUMES: Employers are looking for people with training in Bio Tech, Web Design, and Chemical Engineering.  In this course, you will learn how to spell these and other impressive-sounding skills so you can put them on your resume.

SUCKING UP: In today's workforce, having a job without genuine qualifications makes sucking up to superiors more essential than ever.  In this course you'll progress from flattery, to toadying, to beginning sycophancy, to out-and-out ass-kissing.

FINGER POINTING: Inevitably an unskilled employee makes mistakes, sometimes with catastrophic ramifications.  In this class, you will learn how to blame others.

COLLECTING UNEMPLOYMENT: You're ready to enter the workforce, but are you ready to leave it?  Learn how to navigate the bureaucratic maze so you can get the money you're entitled to, if not more.

ESSENTIALS OF FRAUD: This class covers the basics in padding expense accounts, under-reporting income on tax forms, and scamming insurance companies.