I Heart Indies

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

True Beliebers

Thousands were outraged when Justin Bieber payed a visit to Anne Frank's house in Amsterdam and left a rather big headed note in the guestbook...  "Truly inspiring to be here.  Anne Frank was a great girl.  Hopefully she would have been a belieber."  - Huffington Post, UK

Personal diaries confirm Gandhi was a "Biebermaniac."  During a lengthy criticism of the national salt tax, Gandhi interrupts himself to write, "Bieber, Bieber, Bieber!  I can't stand the oppression of a colonialist hegemony but Justin can tread on my sovereign rights any time!"  Gandhi's enthusiasm for the pop icon is astounding given he died forty-six years before Bieber was born.  Another surprising revelation is that Gandhi dotted his i's with little hearts.

Sister Mary Eglentyne of Caracas claims that the spirit of AnjezĂ« Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, better known as "Mother Teresa," has appeared to her several times as "a gleaming ethereal presence, like the moon glimpsed on a foggy night, only shorter and not so broad across the shoulders."  Sister Eglentyne says the Blessed Teresa is a "huge Bieber fan."  Eglentyne explains, "Terry, that's what I call her, she says they're very informal in Heaven, says she is a Bieber-o-holic, and if she weren't already a Bride of Christ... rrow!"

Rosa Parks, the Alabama woman who stood up for a principle by sitting down, would definitely have been a "regular Bieber nut, a Bieber-lover, a Bieber-hieber-jieber-can't-get-enough-of-Bieber-o-phile," according to Civil Rights scholars.  "She would have completely dug all Bieber's music, but especially My World 2.0, where Bieber gets edgier and shows a greater Rhythm and Blues influence."

1 comment:

  1. Some things just don't fit. I remember once seeing Ernest Tubb presenting an award to Olivia Newton-john. The look on his face said, "What in the hell am I doing here? and more importantly what in the hell are you doing here?" I can imagine life on Pluto easier than I can imagine Elvis being a belieber. Or Johnny Cash for that matter.