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Monday, April 29, 2013

Superheroes for the Modern World

Handy Man: Raised in a cave by an ancient Guru who taught him the secret of immortality and water-heater maintenance, Handy Man travels across city helping people in distress.  Actually shows up when he says he will.  Superpower: Magic Duct Tape in tool belt.

Mail Person: Delivering urgent messages and credit-card offers at the lightning-fast speed of twenty-five miles an hour, except when stopping every hundred feet or so at the next mailbox.  Rushes each day from the Fortress of Solitude at the Post Office with the words, "Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night shall stay this courier from her appointed rounds.  Except Sundays, federal holidays, and Saturdays if Congress would just see reason."

Toll Booth Lady: Secret medical experiments gave her a powerful right arm and a razor-sharp intellect capable of calculating how much change is left over from a dollar after paying a fifty-cent toll.

The Roadside League: These costumed defenders of justice stand by busy roads everywhere across the land, upholding the American way and also holding up signs indicating where you can sell your gold or have your taxes done.

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