And Jesus spake unto them and saith, "Blessed are you who are poor for no one wants to look you in the eye and tell you you're irresponsible and lazy, and who's gonna do that? Because that's what poverty is. You can succeed if you get educated and work hard. Period. Period."
Two sinners were brought before him, taken in fornication, and the Pharisees said to Jesus, "Rabbi, these people were taken in adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such people, what shall we do." And Jesus spoke unto the adulterers, saying, "This is my advice to all you homosexuals, whether you're in the Boyscouts, the army, or high school. Shut up, don't tell anybody what you do, and your life will be a lot easier."
So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. Carrying his cross, they took him to the Place of the Skull, called Golgotha, and there they crucified him. And Jesus hung upon the cross and said, "Lotsa people want to hurt me. That's the price you pay for having a big mouth."
