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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tanks for the Memories

If any private citizen was going to possess their own tank, obviously it would be Arnold Schwarzenegger.  But it’s not just for joy rides and smashing cars.  It’s a tank that does have personal meaning to him, and he uses it for an altruistic purpose...  The tank was “exactly the very tank that I drove in the Austrian Army when I was 18 years old.”As an incentive for inner-city kids to stay in school and off the streets, he invites groups of students up to the ranch to take rides with him.  - Matt McDaniel, MovieTalk at Yahoo! Movies

Florida Governor Rick Scott says proudly, "They can have my M203 Grenade Launcher when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers."  The grenade launcher isn't just for fun, though, or going python-hunting in the Everglades, it has a deep personal meaning for the governor, and he uses it for charitable purposes.  "This was the only part of the army's Special Purpose Individual Weapons Project to go into production," Scott says, wiping a tear from his eye.  "It mounts on a rifle barrel so you can switch back and forth between launching grenades and shooting bullets."  As an incentive for senior citizens to stay off Medicare, Rick invites groups of old folks out to the Everglades to hunt pythons.
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will tell you having a private nuclear submarine isn't just fun, "It's an important part of my day.  Cruising around down there is peaceful, serene.  It's my 'me' time.  On top of which it's a great incentive for Arizona's top law enforcement officers."  Brewer takes selected officers on excursions in the Gulf of California, the nearest navigable water.  When asked if taking her sub out for a spin isn't violating Mexico's sovereign waters, Brewer responds with a wink and a smile, "That's for me to know and them to find out."
Rick Perry may be the only governor in America who has his own Stealth Bomber.  "I haven't checked yet," Perry says but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.  Of course, it's hard to know since it's a Stealth Bomber.  It's like wearing camo pants.  People don't think you're wearing pants at all."  Perry says the bomber's not just for fun, "though it is a blast."  He invites selected teenage girls for rides as an incentive in his abstinence program.  "It's just my little way of saying thank you for not getting pregnant, and to let them know the biggest thrill of all isn't ess-ee-ex, it's finding Jesus.  That and flying in a Stealth Bomber."

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