My New Phone

The other day in Costco, my wife rolled her eyes as I selected my new cell phone.  My purchase represented a giant step backward technology-wise.  I went from a SmartPhone to the most basic model, a flip phone with actual buttons you press instead of a touch screen.  My new phone has no internet connectivity, no GPS, no menu of apps laid out on the screen in colorful icons.  And that suits me fine.  It turns out a SmartPhone is only as smart as its user, which in my case is not all that smart.  My new phone has a camera, which frankly, I don't need, but can get along with.

I will admit to being a technological troglodyte.  When I walk into my carport, our cars begin greeting me with chirps, cheeps, honks, and blinking lights because somehow my butt is pressing various buttons on the car keys in my pocket.  My butt is evidently more dexterous than my fingers because I can never find the right button to unlock my own car in less than three tries.  Remember when you unlocked a car by inserting the silver tip of the key into a hole in the door and turning?

Although my new phone suits me better than my old one, it's still far from perfect.  The buttons are bigger, thank goodness, so I won't dial Nome, Alaska when trying to reach the Pizza Hut, and without all those apps, the battery should last a little longer between chargings, but I worry that I'll still be prone to losing it, and which of the approximately two million chargers we have lying around the house will I insert into this one.

What I'd really like is a phone I couldn't possibly get the wrong number on: it would have a dial where I'd insert my finger into a little hole above the number and have to turn in a complete rotation, allowing me plenty of time to reconsider: is 4 really the number I have written down here, or could it possibly be 9 or even 7?  Maybe it could be attached by a flexible power cord to the wall, so I'd never lose it and it would never need recharging.

Do you think anyone will ever come up with something like that?