I Heart Indies

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Missing Romanov Jewels

Four previously undiscovered photos of undocumented Russian Crown Jewels were recently discovered in the USGS library... a sapphire and diamond tiara, a sapphire bracelet, an emerald necklace, and a sapphire brooch in the shape of a bow.  Researchers have determined that the sapphire brooch was sold in London in 1927, but the fate of the other three pieces is a mystery to this day... United States Geological Survey Reports



"Nice yard sale."
"Thanks."
"You doing this all weekend?"
"Just today."
"Got any baby clothes?"
"Sold out."
"Oh, well.  How much for this toaster?"
"Two bucks fifty."
"How much for that tiara over there?"
"Seven hundred eighty-five thousand one hundred nineteen."
"Whoo.  Pretty steep, isn't it?"
"It's crusted with sapphires and diamonds."
"Yeah, but where am I going to wear it?"
"Do you want it or not?"  (Silence)  "I'll tell you what, I'll let you have the tiara and the toaster for seven hundred eighty-five thousand one hundred twenty bucks even."
"I don't know...  Does the toaster work?"
"Make it twenty-five and I throw in the matching bracelet."
"Hmmm.  I don't know.  I'm going to walk over here and look at these old albums...  Hey!  The Lovin' Spoonful!  How much for this?"
"Five fifteen."
"Okay, I'll take this and... how much for the toaster again?"
"Two fifty."
"I don't know.  It looks busted to me."
"Tell you what, I'll let the album go, and the toaster, and the tiara with the matching bracelet for seven hundred eighty-five thousand one hundred thirty."
"Throw in that emerald bracelet and you got yourself a deal."
"I couldn't possibly let that go for less than thirty thou."
"So you're saying I can have the Lovin' Spoonful, the toaster - which by the way, I'm pretty sure is busted - the tiara, the matching bracelet, and the emerald necklace for eight hundred fifteen thousand one hundred thirty?"
"Will you throw in that See Rock City Birdhouse?"
"No."
"What about the Beary Garcia Beanie Baby?"
"Nope.  That's my deal.  Take it or leave it."
"Okey doke.  Uh-oh."
"What is it?"
"Will you take a check?"

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