I Heart Indies

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

New Planets

If you go outside on a clear night and look straight up and then a little to the left - not that much, just a little! -you won't be able to see it, but that's where scientists believe there's a planet that may be made entirely of petroleum.  It's 45 billion light-years away, but still.  At these prices it might be worth it.

Right next to it, a little to the right and another twelve billion light years is a planet scientists believe may be capable of supporting life.  That is, provided the life can breathe an atmosphere that is ninety percent cyanide gas and has a temperature of 300 degrees Fahrenheit.  Stupid scientists.

Then a little further on, if you see sort of a faint purple swirl in the evening sky down near the horizon, you're looking at the glow from the Italian Ice stand in Decatur.  Ignore it.

Seventy zillion miles due west and just past the Big Dipper or else possibly the North Star is a little planet that scientists find very intriguing.  These particular scientists, however, don't get out much, and are easily intrigued by pretty much anything.

Four billion light-years to the left of Barnard's Star is a planet that scientists can barely make out with the aid of the Hubble Telescope and by squinting.  Actually, they can't make it out at all, but they can tell it's there because the stars nearby are wobbling a certain way.  You may think you're hidden, little planet, but you're only fooling yourself!  Anyway, scientists believe that judging by the wobble of these nearby stars, this planet is made entirely of men's wingtips!  Imagine that.  Scientists conjecture there may also be a planet nearby of argyle socks, but at this point, this is only conjecture.

No comments:

Post a Comment