I Heart Indies

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Scaling Back

Lately I've been taking time out to wonder - am I doing too much?  What's the point, after all, of beating my head against the wall?  This isn't a metaphor for something, I'm talking about actually beating my head against the wall.  What's the point of it?  People who know me are not only surprised at how much I get done, they're surprised I get anything done at all.

Sure, sure, I've gotten a lot of computer solitaire played, but so what?  Does that make me "better" than other people who haven't played as much as I have and don't know the little secrets for maximizing your score?  Okay, maybe it makes me a little better, but is it really worth the sacrifice?  And Gilligan's Island.  I've been re-watching every episode on Roku back to back in between games of computer solitaire, and sure it's pretty impressive, and I can nearly recite all the lines by heart, but is that fulfilling?  Do people appreciate it when I perform Episode #39, "The Little Dictator," or are they just envious and say things like, "Christ, please stop."  Will they put on my tombstone, "He learned every episode of Gilligan's Island by heart"?  That's what I specified in my funeral instructions, but will they really do it?

But here's the thing, when you're like me, you're driven.  It's like there's something inside you, and even when you're tempted to "go outside" or "do something worthwhile," there's a little voice saying, "No, just there and play another game of computer solitaire," or "sit right back, and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip."  Of course, that voice is coming from the TV.

I guess I could take the easy way out, be like everybody else, not play so much computer solitaire, watch fewer re-runs of Gilligan's Island, but I refuse to lower my standards.  Sure, you can say, there's no point beating your head against a wall, and you might be right.  Maybe I will cut back on that part.

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