- News Reports
1972 - Head Acolyte at St Josephs Episcopal Church. Showed extremely poor judgement anchovies for the first time at a pizza restaurant Saturday night. Sunday morning threw up on priest. I resigned.
Honestly, I don't know
what I was thinking
1980 - Undersecretary for Tropes and Metaphors in the Georgia College Literary Society. Resigned because of poor judgement. I'd gotten my hair permed into an afro. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.
1984 - Co-Chair of the Fledgling Right-Wing Liberal Party. Farted loudly during "moment of silent prayer" at first fund-raiser. Poor judgement. Resigned.
1992 - Delegate for Cynthia Drive at Ashford Park Neighborhood Association. After publicly apologizing to my wife and family for the pain my poor judgement had caused them, I resigned when it came to light that I had left a "doggy bag" of left-overs from an Ethiopian Restaurant in my car overnight.
2001 - Asked by the Illuminati to resign my position as Special Liason to the Tri-Lateral Commision for showing extremely poor judgement. Poured "just a little" gasoline on a leaf fire to "get it going."
2012 - Arabia Mountain High School 10th Grade Leadership Committee Chair. Poor judgement. Resigned. "Skinny jeans." Don't ask.