My Career So Far

Stating he had "exercised extremely poor judgement," General Petraeus resigned as the Director of the CIA after an investigation revealed an extramarital affair.
- News Reports

Man Martin

Resume

1972 - Head Acolyte at St Josephs Episcopal Church.  Showed extremely poor judgement anchovies for the first time at a pizza restaurant Saturday night.  Sunday morning threw up on priest.  I resigned.

Circa 1975
Honestly, I don't know
what I was thinking

1975 - Alderman of Baldwin High Student Government.  Resigned after it came to light I had bought and worn multicolored bell-bottom corduroys, extremely poor judgement on my part.

1980 - Undersecretary for Tropes and Metaphors in the Georgia College Literary Society.  Resigned because of poor judgement.  I'd gotten my hair permed into an afro.  Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.

1984 - Co-Chair of the Fledgling Right-Wing Liberal Party.  Farted loudly during "moment of silent prayer" at first fund-raiser.  Poor judgement.  Resigned.

1992 - Delegate for Cynthia Drive at Ashford Park Neighborhood Association.  After publicly apologizing to my wife and family for the pain my poor judgement had caused them, I resigned when it came to light that I had left a "doggy bag" of left-overs from an Ethiopian Restaurant in my car overnight.

2001 - Asked by the Illuminati to resign my position as Special Liason to the Tri-Lateral Commision for showing extremely poor judgement.  Poured "just a little" gasoline on a leaf fire to "get it going."

2012 - Arabia Mountain High School 10th Grade Leadership Committee Chair.  Poor judgement.  Resigned.  "Skinny jeans."  Don't ask.