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Monday, October 22, 2012

Amaze and Impress Your Friends by Getting More Spiritual

Spiritual people spend a lot of time thinking about
the cosmos and stuff
These days you can't throw a brick - and believe me, there's times I'd like to - without konking somebody on the head who goes around saying how "spiritual" he is.  The great thing about Spirituality is - well, everything.  I'm surprised mankind even bothered with religion at all when spirituality was sitting there handy on the shelf, just waiting to be used.  You never see mobs of fanatics firing-bombing KFC's because someone mocked their sense of spirituality.  No one ever used "spirituality" as a pretext to expunge scientific facts from textbooks.

Best of all, with Spirituality no one ever has to do anything but precisely what he wants.  Spirituality isn't about changing who you are, but embracing it.  People who are spiritual don't have to go to church and sit next to some boring old fart who wants to shake your hand and tell you all about her gallstones because God knows, she doesn't have anyone else to talk to.  Spiritual people don't have to listen to some priest lecture them about a bunch of nonsense no one believes anyway, like "forgiving those who curse you," and "turning the other cheek."  Spiritual people don't have to confess their sins, because - as far as I can make out - Spiritual people don't have them.  How wonderful that must be!

Nevertheless, Spirituality isn't for everyone.  There are some highly complex concepts that must be mastered.  It can take hours of thought, even days, before one can call oneself truly Spiritual.  Here are some of the key terms:

Inner Path, Essence, Cosmos, Transcendent, Divine, Greater Being, Celebrating, Being, Embracing, In the Moment, Inner Self, Inner Child

Here is how these concepts might play out in practice,

"I am embracing the essence of this chocolate donut in the moment."
"My Inner Child is having a tantrum right now.  Celebrate it."
"Thank you for inviting me to your lame party, but my Inner Path is telling me I have something better."
"In all the Cosmos there is my Lexus, your Camry, and this intersection where the two have met.  Who's your insurance company?"
"I'm sorry I forgot to water your geraniums.  I was In the Moment."

As you can see, Spirituality addresses the fundamental questions of existence and answers them with a firm, "I'll get back to you on that."

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