I Heart Indies

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Tours for the Twenty-First Century

Yes, children, here we are, so you can all stop asking when we'll get here.
Javon, leave Terika alone!
At this first display, we have an actual book.  Can everyone say, "book?"  Good.  How many of you have ever seen a book?  No one?  That's okay.
Javon, I'm not telling you again!
It's okay to touch it; it has no value whatsoever; it's just here for historical interest.  Don't bother looking for the charger, and the battery isn't dead either.  As you see it's pieces of paper covered with marks kind of like a text message, only a lo-o-ot longer.  No, Devin, ha-ha, there aren't any emoticons, are there.  In those days people tried to communicate their emotions by what they said, by their ideas.  Can you imagine anything so quaint?
Uh, quaint means, like old-fashioned, odd.
Anyway, in these "books," they didn't even use phrases like "lol;" if a writer was trying to be funny, he expected a reader to know it without being told, "This is funny."  Yes, Enoch, that must've been very confusing.
Javon, stop it this instant!
Ooh, good question!  Did everyone hear Marissa's question?  She wants to know if anyone ever actually read one of these things?  As far as archaeologists can determine, no one ever actually read a book.  They seem to have been produced for the sole purpose of making people wait for the movie version.  Nevertheless, there were entire storehouses of these books called "libraries," that kept stacks and stacks on hand just in case someone wanted to come in and give it a try.  Legend has it there were even bookstores, but that's just too silly.  But - and this is the tantalizing part about history - Javon, stop! - research has uncovered that Amazon.com once actually sold books in addition to women's clothing and engine lube.
Now before we go to the next gallery where you'll get to see an honest-to-goodness record player, let's stop by the restroom in case anyone needs to tinkle.
And Javon, come over here.  You and I are going to have a little talk.

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