Sunday, September 23, 2012

Shouting Down the Opposition

Thank goodness we're all Good Americans and we don't go around burning up stuff or mobbing the streets every time someone expresses an idea we find unacceptable.  We just boo.  If someone stands before us in a forum set aside for that purpose or even by our own invitation and says things we disagree with, we jolly well boo and heckle him as is our God-given right, and I say, God bless America for it.

Freedom of Speech is all well and good, but there's also the freedom not to listen, and even more, the freedom to boo when someone's saying something we don't want to listen to.  This is what makes America great and why we're still better than those gosh-darn snooty Icelanders with their geothermal power plants; we still respect the freedom to let loose with a good old-fashioned jeer to silence whatever nutcase happens to be at the podium spouting whatever lies and distortions come into his addled brain.

However, we should consider, does this freedom go far enough?  After all, even to be in the presence of someone who expresses thoughts you find repulsive seems an unfair price to pay for the privilege of venting your disdain by booing.  Why is it not possible to tweet our boos to public events we do not wish to attend, or better still, to record all our booing beforehand, and have it delivered by some transmission device to the venue in question, to make sure whose ever opinion we have decided does not merit uninterrupted airing, will be drowned out by boos, or - since the human ear can learn to ignore even booing in time - animal noises: the sound of chickens clucking, perhaps, or the squeals and oinks of pigs, the maniacal laugh of hyenas or the sound of the lowly platypus, which I understand is a soft but curiously annoying hissing.

These suggestions I offer in the hopes of a better and freer America, and by freer, I mean free from repugnant ideologies and speculations.

I offer it in this format, of course, because were I to say it aloud, certain narrow-minded and wrong-headed people would boo.

The louts.