Me and Money

The wild and woolly days when being a public school
teacher was a veritable goldmine have passed.

Of all the things that puzzle me - and there are a great many - one of the most puzzling is how it's possible for two people who make as much money as Nancy and I do to have as little as we have.  Mostly, of course, I expect this is Nancy's fault; I never tell her so directly, out of a tender regard for her feelings and an equal respect for her knife-throwing ability.

Nevertheless, since she is the one who pays the bills, she's clearly the one who's responsible.  "Stop paying those bills," I want to say, "and we'll be rolling in money!"  But I don't say anything, and she goes right on frittering away the dollars on groceries and electric bills like money goes on trees.

So I guess, I'm also partly at fault.

Also, it must be admitted that lately I haven't been catching as many breaks as was formerly my wont.

The wild and woolly days when being a public school teacher was a veritable goldmine have passed.  Don't get me wrong - educating 10th graders still pulls in the loot with a rake, but it's not like the glory days.

Each year our property tax goes down, which is fine in itself, except that's where my salary comes from.  Therefore, each year the school system cuts my pay, adds a few more unpaid "furlough" days, but then asks me to work a little longer each day.  I figure in about ten years at this rate, I won't pay any property taxes at all, I'll pay for the privilege of working, have 364 furlough days a year, and work just one 3500-hour day.

Thank goodness, if the teaching thing doesn't work out, I can fall back on being a world-famous novelist.  I've written two award winning novels and been paid handsome advances, but minus various promotional expenses, I'm out a couple of K - or is it L?  I'm out a couple of some letter, I'm sure - which means that if I can avoid writing any more award-winning novels for the next few decades, we might just squeak buy.

Well, we still got chickens.