I Heart Indies

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Partial Transcript of an Audio Book as Read by the Author

And the Angels Wept, a novel by Hugh Bohanan

I'm not really keen on the title actually.  It was the publisher's idea.  I wanted to call it Bread of Heaven, and I'm not saying The Angels Wept is bad, but you might want to keep in mind my original title, especially when we get to chapter twenty-four, when Claire and Simone discover the letter, and I think you'll see how nicely it informs the book.
Anyway.

And the Angels Wept (Originally titled Bread of Heaven)  a novel by Hugh Bohanan.
Chapter One.
Darcy and the armadillo had stared at each other a long time without speaking.

I know that's kind of a weird opening, but what I was trying to do was suggest a sort of whimsical world, you know, where people stare at armadillos.  The armadillo will not talk later in the book, as the opening sentence suggests, but it's just kind of there.  Darcy and the armadillo clearly have a relationship, though, as you can tell from the opening sentence.  But I'm not going to explain anymore and just let the work speak for itself.

And the Angels Wept.

You know, actually, that's a pretty good title after all, and I can see the publisher's point.  The problem with Bread of Heaven, and it's a pretty good title in its own way, is that it addresses the theme of the book too directly and doesn't leave enough to the reader's imagination, which a good title should do.  So.  I just thought I'd say that.  Good job, publisher.  Thanks.

And the Angels Wept, a novel by Hugh Bohanan

And I'm not even going to mention the original title I had in mind because I can see now it was a mistake.

And the Angels Wept

It's really silly of me to keep starting from the very opening, so I'm going to skip all the stuff I've already read and just pick up from there.

It was around two-thirty on a Wednesday afternoon.

That doesn't really work after all because you really need the opening sentence to sort of ramp up to the second one, which provides important details about the setting but is kind of abrupt if the novel starts that way.

And the Angels Wept, a novel by Hugh Bohanan

Actually, the armadillo did speak in an earlier draft, but I took it out because I thought it was just too distracting.

Bread of Heaven
Chapter One

I'm sorry.  Wrong title.

And the Angels Wept, a novel by Hugh Bohanan.
Chapter One
Darcy and the armadillo had stared at each other a long time without speaking.  It was around two-thirty on a Wednesday afternoon.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right.  Why the hell can't Bohanan be more specific?  I mean, Wednesday afternoon, that's pretty good, but what's with this around two-thirty?  Don't I know what time it is?  Am I afraid to commit?  But on the other hand, around two-thirty suggests this back-and-forth staring has been going on for some time and also that they aren't conscious of the exact time.  (Not that armadillos can tell time anyway.  Ha-ha.)  So I'm just going to stick with the sentence as it is.  Sometimes your first instincts are right and you just have to trust them.

And the Angels Wept

Damn.
I should have let the armadillo say something.

No comments:

Post a Comment