I was in a Subway ordering a sandwich and had the privilege of standing next to perhaps the most repulsive human being in Chamblee, Georgia. He kept berating the server with comments like, "I don't speak that kind of English," and "You're in America, you got to learn to speak English." One of these signs was brought to my attention by Mark Childress, and then I found the others on the internet. I love America. I love the English language. And yet there are so many people who see it so differently from me.