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Friday, January 20, 2012

Perseus January 20, mythology


Acrisius, Perseus’ grandfather, was told by an oracle that his grandson would one day grow up and kill him.  At the time Acrisius didn’t have a grandson, so naturally he made up his mind he wasn’t going to get one either.  He locked his daughter Danae in a bronze room with a skylight figuring if no one saw her, no one could get to her.  The skylight was where he miscalculated.  Zeus came down as a shower of gold and impregnated her. 1 Now Acrisius was really in a fix.  His daughter was pregnant with his future murderer, but since it was the son of a god, Acrisius couldn’t take the obvious step of just killing both of them.  Instead he put them in a chest which he threw into the sea, figuring when they died it would be Poseidon’s fault. 2  Poseidon, evidently, wasn’t going to take the rap, so the chest floated safely to Seriphos, where they were rescued by a fisherman who took them in.  Unfortunately Seriphos was ruled by a lustful king named Polydectes who right off spotted Danae as a MILF.  It was hard scoring with Perseus around, so he pretended to have a wedding, and invited everyone on the island, with the understanding that each person would have to bring a gift.  Since Perseus had nothing to give – he was being raised by a fisherman, what could he offer – a mackerel? – Polydectes sent him on a quest to bring the head of Medusa.

1. These days a golden shower is something different entirely.
2. This is like blaming a fatal shooting on the bullet.

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