"Mike believes there are twelve Supreme Court Justices. I've tried explaining to him there are only nine. Otherwise what would you do in case of a tie? It only makes sense. I tried asking him how he thinks a five-four decision is possible with twelve justices, but he won't listen. I mean, how can you reason with someone who can't even get arithmetic?"
Russell Crowe and Danielle Spencer
"I swear, every time Danielle uses the bathroom, she talks about how in Australia, the water swirls the other way around. It makes me CRAZY! I'm from Australia, damn it. The water goes the same way around. I've seen it! But. She. Just. Won't. Listen. I start to see why Mel [Gibson] cracked."
Donald Trump and Melania Knauss-Trump
"Donald thinks the expression is 'just desserts,' as in, 'The would-be bank robber got his just desserts.' That doesn't even make sense! The expression is 'just deserts,' as in getting what you deserve. What the hell, does Donald think you get ice cream in prison? Ivana and Marla tried telling me this would drive me crazy, but I thought it wasn't that big a deal. But after a while, it really starts to wear on you. When he says, 'just desserts,' I can tell he's pronouncing it with two s's just to provoke me. I mean, how hard can this be. I'm from freaking Slovenia and I know that."
(Originally posted 2012)